Quotable Quotes

I started to write a little ditty about our last several days here in Casa de The Jen, and then I realized it would be much more fun to view our goings on through a series of quotes. So that's what I did instead. Enjoy.


::Bean acting like a gnarly little toddler monster.::

Hubs: What is wrong with that child??
Me: Either teething or demonic possession. Since I'm not sure which, I gave him Orajel and a sippy cup full of Holy water just to cover all my bases.
Hubs: Good thinking.


Hubs: His shoes are too small you know.
Me: No, they're not. He'll wear these until he has the part-time job to cover a jaunt to Stride Rite.
Hubs: Seriously. Those shoes are leaving indentations in his feet.
Me: It's getting warm out, and he retains water below the ankle. I'll tell him to keep his feet elevated for a while.
Hubs: (Shoots me a dirty look)
Me: Okay, fine. I'll spend the $4,503 at Stride Rite. But when that does nothing to solve it, will you agree to look into the whole water retention/ too much salt theory?


Me: Good news! Bean is learning to drink out of a regular cup all by himself!
Hubs: That's great! When did you start practicing that with him?
Me: Oh, um, he actually just taught himself by drinking the water out of his water table in the backyard.
Hubs: You mean the one full of bugs and dirt and leaves?
Me: Does he have another water table? Then I guess that's the one. 
Hubs: (Another dirty look.)
Me: So, yay for milestones, right? Does it make it any better at all that he first started learning the cup thing while drinking his own bath water? No? Hey look! I made cupcakes!


Me: Bean! Do not go all Mike Tyson on that doggy!
Hubs: Do you honestly think he understood that reference?
Me: Fine. Bean, do not bite the dog's ear off no matter how much publicity might ensue!
Hubs: Much better.


Me: Bean, please remember this specific temper tantrum, because in several years when you are asking why you don't have any little brothers or sisters, I will want to refer you back to this as a point of reference.


Me: Bean, you are my all-time favorite baby. Do you know that? Give mommy kisses (make kiss face and lean in)
Bean: Burps up his bean burrito from lunch in my face, with my mouth right next to his.
Me: touche, Bean Bean. Touche.