More MOTY

Never fear, blog fans. I go to great lengths on a continuous basis to ensure no one is ever able to steal my Mother of the Year title away from me. I worked hard for that crown, you know. (As always, feel free to add your M(or F)OTY moments in the comments!)


* Bean has had potato chips. Three times this week. All three times it was to stop a tantrum. 


* He mostly only wears his fancy schmancy  Stride Rite shoes when we're out in public. Actual walking around outside in the mud/ grass/ leaves/ who knows what is usually done  barefoot around here. By the time he gets to high school, he should be able to run track barefoot for as tough as the bottoms of his feet will be.


* Hubs: "Why are you trying to feed him? He's obviously done with his dinner. Stop shoving food in the poor kid's face."
Me: "Because, honestly, if I stop feeding him he'll want out of his highchair. And if he's out of his highchair, I'll have to deal with him. And nobody wants that."
Hubs: "Nice. Real nice, Jen."

* I use two sippy cups each day - one for milk and one for water. When not in use, they go back into the fridge until the next meal or snack time, and are washed each night. Hubs had to call me out when it was discovered that a particular sippy cup was actually on day 2 (or so) of fridge rotation. Oops.


* "Bean what is in your mouth?! Come here! Well, never mind. You swallowed it. Guess we'll figure out what it was in the next day or so."


* I'm 99% certain that at least one obscenity left Bean's mouth today. I'm 110% certain he picked it up from me. It also happens to be one of the more offensive swear words one can use. Good job, mommy!


* While reading him his nursery rhymes book the other night, I couldn't help but notice the fairly inappropriate/ outdated/ racist overtones of some of the classics out there. A good mother would either just avoid them altogether or at least try not to read too much into it, for fear of taking the fun out of the story/ rhyme. This mother winds up on a 25 minute tangent explaining to her toddler that three grown adults should really never share a bath tub together (Rub a dub dub, anyone?). I may also have touched on the fact that Baa Baa Black Sheep would not, in this day and age, have a "master" to whom he had to give his wool. Don't even get me started on the obviously large amount of LSD it must take to understand "Hey Diddle Diddle" in all its glory. The dish and spoon got up to run away together? Just say no, Bean. Just say no.


* Me: "We should really consider finding a church to go to every Sunday."
Hubs: "Really? What's your sudden motivation?"
Me: "Are you serious? Free daycare in the church nursery. Every Sunday we'll get a few hours without Bean, and we don't even have to pay for it. And Wednesday nights too, depending on the church."
Hubs: "Please tell me you're at least going to stay for the services, then."
Me: "Is that required or something?"


Don't lie, blog stalkers. You deserve a MOTY crown too. Yours just isn't as sparkly as mine.